The Nature of Being Right and The Nature of Being Wrong…
Let's consider the nature of human nature. One aspect of it demands that we be right not wrong, maybe when we are indeed, wrong. We have a drive to show up in a way that fulfills our ego and is consistent with our perceptions of ourselves. We have an intrinsic need for competence. Often, this takes some mental gymnastics, but our brain is an amazing thing, acting to preserve a constructed image of self. When we are wrong, after all, things happen - it could impact our reputations at work, and we cannot have that!
So many times, we dig in and we push back on others in our lives. We contest things in situations where we should yield. We fight when we should retreat. And sometimes, we make fools of ourselves rather than find the best solution by collaborating. This need to be right can sometimes limit our ability to be effective. Fortunately, there are steps we can take to help ourselves avoid falling into this emotionally-laden pitfall.
Surface and Question your Assumptions
Rather than shout your point of view from the rooftops, approach the other person’s point of view from a learner’s perspective. Question the assumptions they are making, not in order to poke holes in their idea, but to learn. There may be something that you are missing in the equation, or, that person might realize, through gentle guidance, that they are making an assumption outside of their own awareness and logic frame. The power of a poignant question cannot be understated.
Listen with logic and with emotion!
There is always something to be learned, regardless of whether it supports your perspective. Especially when it does not support your own perspective. What wisdom does the other person bring to the table? How do their unique experiences shape their perspective? What data do they have that you might be missing? Even if you end up being right in the end, dissenting opinions are a keen opportunity to learn.
You might just be wrong - learn to accept that!
The world we live in holds many truths. Some of these are more true than others. Try to think about the times when you had been wrong in the past. Get some specific examples in your mind. Remind yourself that 1) it wasn’t catastrophic and 2) what you learned from the situation. Ask yourself “what is the cost of being wrong” and “what is the value of changing my position?” Remember, to err is human. Also as the world becomes more complex and volatile, agile thinking is necessary and this requires quick fails, experimenting and a comfort with evolving your views as you learn and grow